
Pondering life’s lighter moments and following on from his recent post entitled “The Origins of Murphy’s Law”; Pieter Rautenbach has forwarded us the next installment, “Universal Laws for Naive Engineers”:
- In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so.
- Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm.
- In any formula, constants ( especially those obtained from engineering handbooks ) are to be treated as variables.
- The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service.
- The most vital dimension on any plan or drawing stands the greatest chance of being omitted.
- If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be unreasonable.
- If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production units will malfunction.
- All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0 .
- Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication is nearly completed.
- Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
- Interchangeable parts won't.
- Manufacturer's specifications of performance must be multiplied by a factor of 0.5.
- Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.25 .
- Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device will be promptly discarded by the Receiving Department.
- Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
- Service Conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded.
- If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.
- Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave in an identical fashion in the field.
- If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is set through service experience at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly calculate a method to exceed said safety factor.
- Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.
Ernest Roper
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