Wednesday, March 31, 2010

IT Professionals: Gone Fishing

Over the upcoming long weekend, many who work in IT will no doubt take advantage of minimal network traffic, and use the time constructively to perform site maintenance.

When back in the office next week, you are sure to hear them brandishing about a whole host of technical terms and possibly won’t have the first clue as to what they're going on about.

For those who are interested in understanding what it is these people actually got up to, we present the following guideline:

Site – Where they pitched the tent
Monitor - Kept an eye on the braai
Download - Got the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive – The Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard - Where they hung the bakkie and bike keys
Window - What they shut when it got cold
Screen - What they shut when they saw a mosquito
Byte - What mosquitoes do
Bit - What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte - What mosquitoes did at the lake
Chip - A bar snack
Micro Chip – What was left in the bag after they ate the chips
Modem - What they did to their lawns
Dot Matrix - Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat slept
Software - Plastic knives and forks they got at KFC
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives they got from Checkers
Mouse - What got into the cupboard and ate the oats
Mouse Pad - Where the mouse took the oats it didn’t eat
Mainframe - What holds up the bungalow
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The corner of the bungalow
Cursor - The old bloke at the pub who swore a lot
Search Engine - What they did when the bakkie wouldn’t go
Yahoo - What they did when the bakkie did eventually go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub who brought the lunch
Mail Server - The bloke at the pub who brought out the lunch
User - The neighbour that keeps borrowing things
Network - When they had to repair the fishing net
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When the fish maneuvered out of the net
Online - When the fish bit
Off Line - The one that got away (at least a meter in length)

No rest for the weary ……. For an IT professional the Job is never done. :)

Ernest Roper

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