Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dummies Guide to Project Roles

Source: email to the Association from somebody with a sense of humor. :)
  • A Project Manager person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
  • A Construction Manager is a person who thinks one woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
  • An Engineering Manager is a person who thinks a baby can be delivered even if no man or woman is available.
  • A Cost Control Manager is a person who thinks the cost of the baby is in the budget.
  • An Instrument Engineer is a person who thinks it will take eighteen months to deliver a baby.
  • The Client does not know why the baby was wanted in the first place.
  • The Structural Engineer is a person calculating how to design and produce a bra to support the mother`s breasts.
  • The Procurement Manager is the person who requisitions condoms regardless.
  • The Health and Safety Manager is the person who conducts a full investigation into the `spill` and orders more condoms.
  • The Planners think they do not need a man or woman; they will produce a programme and deliver the baby without the input of anybody.
  • The Estimators determine the cost of a baby on the current market demand.
  • The Document Control Team do not care whether the baby is delivered or not, as long as it has a document number.
  • The Quality Manager does not approve of the method used to produce a baby.
  • The Process Engineer has a dozen other methods of producing a baby.
  • The Contract Design Draughtsmen do not care......they have done their bit, and want a bonus.
  • The Expediting Manager cannot wait and wants to go in and get the baby.
That Is Why Human Childbirth Is A Miracle!

Ernest Roper

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