Dummies Guide to Project Roles

Source: email to the Association from somebody with a sense of humor. :)

• A Project Manager person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
• A Construction Manager is a person who thinks one woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
• An Engineering Manager is a person who thinks a baby can be delivered even if no man or woman is available.
• A Cost Control Manager is a person who thinks the cost of the baby is in the budget.
• An Instrument Engineer is a person who thinks it will take eighteen months to deliver a baby.
• The Client does not know why the baby was wanted in the first place.
• The Structural Engineer is a person calculating how to design and produce a bra to support the mother`s breasts.
• The Procurement Manager is the person who requisitions condoms regardless.
• The Health and Safety Manager is the person who conducts a full investigation into the `spill` and orders more condoms.
• The Planners think they do not need a man or woman; they will produce a programme and deliver the baby without the input of anybody.
• The Estimators determine the cost of a baby on the current market demand.
• The Document Control Team do not care whether the baby is delivered or not, as long as it has a document number.
• The Quality Manager does not approve of the method used to produce a baby.
• The Process Engineer has a dozen other methods of producing a baby.
• The Contract Design Draughtsmen do not care......they have done their bit, and want a bonus.
• The Expediting Manager cannot wait and wants to go in and get the baby.

That Is Why Human Childbirth Is A Miracle!

Ernest Roper
Webmaster

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