Monday, February 14, 2011

‘Ballies’ Coming To Grips With Technology

Sam von Maltitz writing in his column, ‘Pebble in my Boot’ published in the Coastal Fever, highlighted the following e-mail currently doing the rounds under the subject heading: SHOULD I REALLY JOIN FACEBOOK?

“When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1 800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for ‘Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, thirteen grandkids and two great-grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterific, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other programme within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in my garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost now and then going over to the grocery store and the library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue-tooth phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line in a shop talking to my wife and everyone within 50 metres was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out and I got a little loud.

The GPS looked good on my dashboard, but the lady inside was the rudest person ever.....every ten minutes she would sarcastically say “re-calculating.” It was like she could not tolerate me. When I get lost now, I phone my wife. She also speaks to me like the GPS lady, but at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I’m still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for four years, but I still haven’t figured out how I could lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is getting too complex for me. I was recently asked if I tweet.

I answered: “No, but I toot a lot.”

Pieter Rautenbach

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